Getting through the hard times this past year, and entering the New Year with a positive attitude

This past year has been quite an experience, a year full of love, hope, happiness, confusion, disappointments, setbacks and the list can go on. I’d have to say that although all twelve months were quite testing, the rollercoaster of emotions actually began back in June when we were preparing for my Autistic son’s graduation and for his birthday, turning twenty one years old meant the beginning of aging out of the Board of Education, residential program system and into adulthood. Challenging indeed, but exciting, he was coming home full time, instead of every other weekend and holidays, we had been waiting for this for 8 years.

During the same time his twin sister decided it was time to venture out on her own and rent an apartment, since living with roommates was not working out. That was also exciting, but another challenge, looking and finding an apartment for a single young woman in college with a cat was not easy, to say the least.

Finally, after about two months of searching, my daughter found an apartment, oh did I mention that was after she literally chose a garage as an apartment, not entirely her fault because I told her to do some searching of her own, I really thought she would use good judgment, since I was caught up in my son’s transition. Anyway, I think we moved her belongings like four times including a storage rental, before she finally found a suitable place to live.

She found an apartment and my son came home full time. Oh, let me not forget to tell you that our landlord drove us nuts, constantly complaining about noise and his idea of noise was basically hearing us walk back and forth like normal human beings do. What it boils down to is that the landlord did not like the idea of having my son live in the apartment full time. So, I said my good bye and my own journey of looking for a new apartment began, I love my new place and my new landlord is pretty cool.

Once my son was home, getting him into programs to keep him busy and productive was more difficult than I thought and within 2 months time his irritability and agitation took its course which led him to a seat in a Psych ER, waiting to go back to an adult residence. I did everything I could to avoid this but, as I learned, there is very little help available for individuals with disabilities and their families during a crisis.  

After four weeks of my son sitting in an ER room, I was told he had traces of protein in his urine, which sometimes means there might be problems with the kidneys. I immediately had a nephrologists examine my son, soon after he was admitted into a medical unit and diagnosed with kidney failure. He is now home enjoying his favorite TV shows and video games, he will soon have a kidney biopsy and the Doctors will know exactly what is wrong and what kind of treatment he will need.

I have my moments, moments where I stare out and wonder how all this came about, I ask myself how I will ever get through it all. But, than a beautiful voice speaks to me and assures me that I will not be given anything more than I can handle. I know that harboring negative thoughts and projecting the worst will not help any; it will only deplete me of my energy and cloud my thinking. I believe in a higher power, I believe in prayer and I have faith that my family will continue to persevere. I was recently told by a face book friend, that where there is love there is life, I will continue to see the love and goodness in everything.

Funny, how when you begin to experience real hardships, the little things that use to annoy us do not seem to bother us anymore. Gratitude is so important and remembering that no matter what you are going through, there are others that are also going through difficult times; we must always be willing to extend our hands and hearts to them.

I am not big on New Year resolutions, but the one thing that I will work hard at is going into this New Year with a positive attitude. Of course there will be times when it will all feel too much to handle, I am only human. But, I certainly will not let it take over and get the best of me, I have learned through the year’s some valuable ways to help me get through the tough times, One, pick up the phone, Two, write about it and three, out of self and into others.

“Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which will never happen.”  James R. Lowell

“Never bear more than one kind of trouble at a time.  Some people bear three - all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.” Edward Everett Hale

 “He who has faith has... an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come out well - even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly.”  B.C. Forbes

“As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.”  Emmanuel

"What we do not see, what most of us never suspect of existing, is the silent but irresistible power which comes to the rescue of those who fight on in the face of discouragement." Napoleon Hill